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The Perpetual Search For Our Comfort Zone

“I’m so uncomfortable, why won’t these people cooperate with me and make my life a little easier.”

My priority is and mine, making sure my children are taken care of and my home runs smoothly. I have enough on my plate and don’t have the time to be inconvenienced by someone else’s problems.

Sound familiar? I know it does to me.

Self-sacrifice and hospitality are an ancient art. Instead of opening our homes and taking the time to listen to others, we are looking at our watches or the screens of our phones. We accomplish so much, yet have nothing to show for it.

We multi-task our family, friends, and lives, for what?

To have a little more time to squeeze in one more thing, to accomplish one more task, and perhaps to take some time for ourselves, as we search for our comfort zone.

Is that all there really is- a perpetual search for our comfort zone?

No one grows in their comfort zone. Although cozy, the lack of challenge causes us to stagnate. Yet whenever we are taken out of our comfort zone we become irritated and frustrated. Assuming that when we face discomfort or inconvenience we have either misread God’s will or have made a mistake.

I was recently reading the story of our Lord’s birth. The road Joseph and Mary took to Jerusalem was a bumpy one. There were no conveniences afforded to them. They carried the greatest treasure in all humanity and still were reduced to homelessness and birth in a dirty stable.

When we do God’s will we are not guaranteed comfort or convenience. Most growth occurs in times of transition when our world is upside down, when we are stretched beyond our capacity.

The Christian life is not for weak or faint of heart. It is for those who are brave enough to live life out of the comfort zone. Those who are willing to tread where others fear and do the seemingly impossible, knowing we serve a God who can do far beyond our wildest dreams.

Let us boldly jump into the uncomfortable, take risks, and dare to dream.

A Real Survivor

They bruised his feet with fetters and placed his neck in an iron collar. Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character (Psalm 105: 19 NLT emphasis added).

Joseph was highly esteemed and loved by his parents. As his father’s favorite, he was considered a child of promise, which seemed to be confirmed by dreams and visions.  While Joseph lived a life of comfort, his brothers were relegated to working in the harsh conditions of the field.

One day, one decision, one betrayal changed Joseph’s life forever. In one moment the child of promise was nothing more than a slave.  Everything was ripped away from him, his home, family and security. He saw evil face to face as the sting of his brothers’ betrayal came into full view.

Days turned to weeks, weeks into months, months into years and still there was no reprieve. All of the visions of his childhood seemed like a forgotten memory. Yet, in spite of every curve ball thrown his way, Joseph persevered. Instead of falling apart, he tried to make the best of the situations in front of him. Through the valley of broken dreams, his character proved to be stronger than the evil that surrounded him.

Joseph is the ultimate example of a survivor. By using his God given talents those around him were able to look past his title and see his ability. As a slave, he was promoted. As a prisoner, he was promoted. Wherever he went he made something out of nothing.

He was labeled a slave, falsely accused as a rapist, and imprisoned as a criminal. Although society placed these labels on him, Joseph did not accept them for himself. He continued to honor God with his life and worked in excellence.  What Joseph didn’t know was that through the unfairness of it all  God was testing and molding his character.

Like the verse above states, there is an appointed time for everything. Joseph had big dreams. In the midst of his suffering, these dreams seemed impossible. Although Joseph was overlooked and abandoned by everyone in his life, God never forgot him. When the appointed time came, in an instant, God changed the trajectory of Joseph’s life. He went from slave/criminal to a world leader as second in command in the strongest nation of the world.

Through adversity and injustice He was faithful. Those seventeen years of adversity were Joseph’s training ground. His heart was humbled and molded in such a way that he could be effective in a place of authority but still be empathetic to the needs of the people.

Joseph lived a long successful life. The memory of his suffering and injustice became a chapter, not the defining moment in the story of his life. The adversity he overcame turned out to be a stepping-stone into his future.  

Cheated Out of Love?

I love poetry. The depth of expression touches my soul.  Last night I met some amazing people at a poetry reading, people from all walks of life, differing ages and personalities. I was most touched by Ray. An elderly gentleman who is best described as a renaissance man.

I had a great time listening to all the poetic expressions from “on the fly” to careful construction.  Close to the end of the evening Ray decided to quote a poem near and dear to his heart. He dedicated it to his wife who passed away 26 years ago. From the moment he began speaking I was overwhelmed with emotion. All I could do was lower my head as the tears streamed down.

I was surprised at this surge of emotion. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. The excruciating pain of my past life seems foreign, as I am so far removed from it. I’ve been trying to process the reason I was so affected.

From the moment I met Ray, I was drawn to his magnetism. He is so effervescent; one could not help but fall in love with his personality. As he spoke about the great love of his life, my heart broke. I immediately drew inward.

I felt the great love Ray carried for his wife. He vowed she was his one and only sweetheart and no other could take her place.  Every woman wants to be cherished that way. As I thought about it I realized the tears came from disappointment. I was cheated out of a love like that. I knew it even while I was married.

Healing is progressive. With God’s help I have made many strides forward, but as last night demonstrated other areas of my heart still need mending.

I carry the hope that one day I too will have a beautiful love story. I want to pass that legacy unto my own children.  For them to see the beauty in marriage and  that true love does last a lifetime.

Until then, I will wait on the Lord. I don’t want to cheat myself out of the opportunity to experience this union.  I will patiently wait for the one God has for me… the one who will grow old with me and be my dance partner for life.  

Forever Love

For the True Love of My Life

I give my life to you, O Forever Love
For you have shown me the purest of love.
As You take my hand, security comes through.
When others reject me because I’m unlovely,
I look in Your eyes and see a reflection of beauty.
As You lift me up in Your embrace, a smile shines on my face
As we dance the night away, joy fills this once empty place.
O Forever Love may it always be like this,
As I bask in Your exquisite light for all eternity.

Bob and Tracy

I recently had the opportunity to work with Bob and Tracy (fictitious names to preserve privacy) who have been married for over 7 years and have 2 children, ages 6 and 2. The union was severed because of Bob’s ongoing extramarital affairs, which resulted in the pregnancy of his current mistress.

This couple has only been separated for a couple of months and the news of the pregnancy was shocking to Tracy. Emotionally and financially devastated, Tracy was now forced to move into her mother’s home and share a bedroom with her two sons.

Although Bob made decisions that caused catastrophic impacts on Tracy’s life and their 2 sons, I didn’t notice any hint of resentment or anger in Tracy’s interactions with him. Throughout our time together Tracy and Bob were at peace with each other. This surprised me, especially this soon after a betrayal.

I commented on their interactions and asked Tracy where her source of strength derived. She was adamant her strength came from a relationship with Jesus. That it was because of Him she has been able to genuinely forgive Bob and desire the best for his life. When she forgave she was able to release Bob and no longer let his betrayal impact her future.

Tracy found what many of us are still seeking. In the arms of Jesus she found comfort for her broken heart and a hope for her future. God gave Tracy the grace to forgive Bob. As a result, Tracy was finally able to move on with her life.

Everyday she is taking steps forward toward a better future. Her relationship with Jesus has given her peace and helped her overcome the depression she encountered as the life she knew was destroyed. Only Christ can bring wholeness and healing out of a desperate situation. Because Tracy submitted her life to God, He built a supernatural strength in her that is helping her overcome. The road has been hard, but God’s perfect love is seeing her through.

The Search

Little girl searching

Body of a woman wasting

Tears shed as she is discarded once more

Broken hearted with her face to the floor

Am I not worthy of love?

All the while her Maker weeps as she gives herself away

Longing to heal the brokenness from the lack of embrace

Arms wide open, there He stands

With a precious rose in His hands

You are beautiful my child, so dear to Me

Come let Me show you what you were created to be

I have made you precious with a beauty so rare

Not so that others can dampen your flair

You are my daughter, a sight to behold

A precious gem shimmering with gold

My love for you is greater than you see

And your worth is found only in Me

I value you deeply and long for your love

Take My hand and I'll lavish you with joy from above

In Me you are new

Trust, I'll show you what to do

It’s a new journey, one step at a time

Where you will find peace of mind

Come as you are all tattered and bruised

Come to me and I will make you anew

The reflection you see is not what I planned

I will give you a new heart, your future is in My hands

The acceptance and love you’ve searched all along

Is here in My arms, right where you belong

Come and receive the goodness in store
For you are not alone anymore

- Cary Sanchez