Cheated Out of Love?

I love poetry. The depth of expression touches my soul.  Last night I met some amazing people at a poetry reading, people from all walks of life, differing ages and personalities. I was most touched by Ray. An elderly gentleman who is best described as a renaissance man.

I had a great time listening to all the poetic expressions from “on the fly” to careful construction.  Close to the end of the evening Ray decided to quote a poem near and dear to his heart. He dedicated it to his wife who passed away 26 years ago. From the moment he began speaking I was overwhelmed with emotion. All I could do was lower my head as the tears streamed down.

I was surprised at this surge of emotion. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. The excruciating pain of my past life seems foreign, as I am so far removed from it. I’ve been trying to process the reason I was so affected.

From the moment I met Ray, I was drawn to his magnetism. He is so effervescent; one could not help but fall in love with his personality. As he spoke about the great love of his life, my heart broke. I immediately drew inward.

I felt the great love Ray carried for his wife. He vowed she was his one and only sweetheart and no other could take her place.  Every woman wants to be cherished that way. As I thought about it I realized the tears came from disappointment. I was cheated out of a love like that. I knew it even while I was married.

Healing is progressive. With God’s help I have made many strides forward, but as last night demonstrated other areas of my heart still need mending.

I carry the hope that one day I too will have a beautiful love story. I want to pass that legacy unto my own children.  For them to see the beauty in marriage and  that true love does last a lifetime.

Until then, I will wait on the Lord. I don’t want to cheat myself out of the opportunity to experience this union.  I will patiently wait for the one God has for me… the one who will grow old with me and be my dance partner for life.